Article by: Hannah Heinzekehr, The Femonite blog
Do you ever have those moments where you really start to question … everything? Your faith. Your purpose. Your reasoning for the things you do? What am I even doing here? Why do I even associate with a religion that sometimes doesn’t seem to align with what I believe or how I think we should act (or how I want us to anyways)? I question my faith from time to time. I think most of us (I hope) do. I get frustrated with fundamentalism, old rules and processes. Sometimes when I face resistance to my beliefs or people who don’t see my vision as clearly, I feel irritated and impatient. I wonder: why do I even bother? I could just as easily… move on. Walk away.
A mentor of mine identified a cynic as being “a broken-hearted idealist”. That hit home for me in that moment.
I think many of my cynical thoughts come from hurt feelings or disappointments. There are times I question. I re-consider. I get upset. My heart breaks. My vision crushed. But, still, I am here. Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps me here.
For me, Hannah puts it quite well.
Basically, it’s hope.
It’s the opportunity to be a part of changing the story. When I’m able to put my sometimes cynical, pessimistic attitudes aside; I believe in our potential to be what we dream of.
“What if, instead of giving up on church and writing posts about how we’re disillusioned or done, we instead worked from the inside out, giving encouragement where we saw progress, naming injustice and corruption when we see it, and helping to transform congregations into the real, messy communities we long for them to be?“
– Hannah Heinzekehr, The Femonite, “Why I’m Not Quite Done With Church Yet“