I lead a busy life. I am a single mother, teaching at a new school this year, a seminary student. Combine that with my activities with Community of Christ through youth ministry (weekend retreats now, directing our local Senior High Camp in the summer) and Leading Congregations in Mission and a couple others, my time is at a premium.
Last weekend, I had a bit of a moment, when a couple of deadlines combined forces, plotting an unexpected, covert assault on my person. It was the end of an LCM training, following a late night and restless sleep. I was not in the best of mental states, and I was officially overwhelmed with life. I’m usually good at making “to do” lists and chipping away at my huge list of things to do – small steps add up to big things after all. But when I get overwhelmed with life, NOTHING happens. I find all sorts of meaningless things to get done to avoid the overwhelming-ness. Now that I am outside of the moment, I can totally understand and appreciate that this sort of behavior only compounds the problem. Nevertheless, when I’m having a moment such things escape my notice.
Then I did two things that helped me get out of my trap – two things that are pretty difficult for me to do.
The first, I acknowledged my sense of being overwhelmed by sharing it with another person. I reached out to my professor, and told her of my struggles. Usually, I try to maintain what I consider to be a good cover of having everything together. So admitting that I don’t have it all together is HUGE.
The second, I took something they have been trying to impart on us at LCM to heart: slow down. Be in the moment, and consciously try to connect to God. Doing things like dwelling with the Word, and engaging in centering prayer, even for just a few minutes at a shot makes a world of difference, more than words can give justice.
To be honest, the second one was kind of forced on me. I hurt my foot while on a run on the Saturday morning of the LCM training retreat. Even so, I am hoping that I can keep these lessons close to heart as I move on with my busy life. And perhaps I can get to a place where I am not so “busy,” but more intentional with how I choose to use my time and resources. It is difficult because the things that I do all feel like very worthwhile uses of my time. It’s all about trying to figure out my priorities, and what activities align with where God is leading me.